I have one daughter who fills my life with more joy then I could of ever expected. I have an amazing husband who supports every aspect of my life and who I love dearly. I work out of the house full time, which makes my time with my family very prectious!
I have entered another 21 day cardio challenge. I have signed up to do 3o min of cardio every day. The last challenge I completed 920 min. of cardio over the 21 days.... I was 3rd in the 'competition' :) My goal for this challenge is to not miss one day in the 21 days. I need to make this a priority even if it is 3 10 min walks through out the day... I can do this!! I am going to add a new ticker to track my time.
But you can stop it from making a nest in your hair" (I don't know who said that) but I can't forget it!! It applies to EVERYTHING in my life - weight loss, my marriage, work, my relationships with people and God... I think of this every time I want to eat something bad (which has been happening more often lately). I can't stop that thought from coming into my head but I can stop myself from acting on it!! I just so no!! I am not going to let that thought become a nest!! So, the next time you have that thought think about what you CAN control and move forward!!
OnDemand currently has JM's 30 Day Shred. I thought I would give it a try. I did it for the first time Saturday. I was sore after but felt good. Sunday I was even more sore but wanted to give it another try. So, I did my 30 min. on my TM and then the 28 min. of the 30DS.... wow talk about sore. So, I am giving myself the day off today. I am going to try to get in some walking though... just makes me feel better. When I put on slacks this morning (I just wore these last week and they fit) the almost fell off!! That was an AWESOME feeling and one that will push me to continue the 30DS!!
DH and I went to a Church class in late fall last year and met some wonderful people. There was a couple we sat with that were close to our age and we both really liked them. We were looking for a life group and I looked one up and we started going. The problem was that group went to a different location then we did. We didn’t go very consistently and eventually stopped. DH had mentioned the other couple and how he wished we were in a group with them. The problem was we knew that their group was full. Well, last week we got an email from then that they had an opening in their group. There are 8 couples and they meet ever other Sunday with out children. We went last night and really had a great time. The group felt authentic and that they all care! We would love to find a group we fit in with and so far this feels good! Several of the couples live by us and a lot of them go to the same service as us. For one of the first times in forever I was patient and things seem to be falling into place!
So my alarm goes off every morning in time for me to go work out... but why is it so hard for me to get out of bed and do this? The alarm went off at 5:45 this morning and I lay there thinking... I can do it after Church... oh but I have that meeting from 1-2:30....ah I can do it after then!! ... oh but we have group tonight from 5-7.... I can do it after then.... oh but we have to pick up DD from my paretns so it wouldn't be till after 9 probably. OK OK OK, I will get up and do it now... but I DON'T WANT TO! Well I got up and ran and lifted weights. I felt AMAZING after I was done. I was thinking at Church how much energy I had! WOW that was nice. I came home did some laundry, picked up Alex's room and organized her bathroom!! So when I feel this good and get this much done, why is it so hard to get up when my alarm goes off?
Biggest Loser Couples started last night. I set a goal to walk while watching it and completed it! I walked for 2 hours and for 6.5 miles. My legs were sore after but I felt that satisfaction of completion! I think I enjoy walking as much as my other work outs and want to start walking more often. Now, I do love a good sweat when I work out and I didn’t quite get that last night… so I will have to get a good run in today. I weigh in Friday so I will try to take tomorrow easy. I am excited for this first weigh in – and excited to see that hard work pay off!
I was quite moody when I woke up this morning… I think I still wanted to be in bed. DD joined us in our bed about 6 and I kept snapping at her. She was awake and kept moving… and I just wanted a few more min. rest! I realized the error of my ways and changed my attitude once she was up and getting ready for the day. Then I got to work and it was down hill from there again. For me, one of the worst feelings is when I know I am in a bad mood and can’t turn it around L
I did take the time to walk over and have dinner with DH today - and that always helps! It is nice to get away from work and spend a few minutes with him during the day. I wish it happened more often. We were talking about happiness and I was telling him about the Oprah show I watched that said if you think it, it will happen. So, I am THINKING I know I WILL get to my goal weight – might take more time then I had planned but it WILL happen!!
So what happened on that weigh in… it probably never happened. I continued to live in denial and tried to find new ways to lose weight! I tried not eating, I tried throwing up, I tried a magic pill in a bottle. At the end of the day I had the same feeling to all of it – THIS IS NOT WORKING! So, I talked to my wonderful husband and we decided for me to give Nutrisystem a try. WOW, I LOVE this program. I was very scared to order because I didn’t know what I was getting myself into but thought I would give it a try. I started 12/14 – the week before I turned 30. I made the decision not to drink or partake in the food on my birthday and just to enjoy everyone. This was not as hard as I thought it was going to be. The next morning I felt good – I had made decisions that were good for me. That continued through Christmas and New Years. I actually like the way I feel sober!! I always felt like I HAD to drink… I don’t know why I felt this way but I did. It is very empowering to not drink. Save not only calories, but money and the next day from being a waste!!
Jan. 2, 2009 I started a Biggest Loser Challenge with my Nutrisystem friends (I weighed in at 163.8lbs). There are over 250 people who are partaking in the challenge!! WOW!! This has motivated me to start moving again. I have committed to doing 30 min of cardio a day for at least 21 days. There will be days that I have to break this up into two 15 min sessions… but that is better then not moving at all.
For Christmas I made the commitment to my husband that I WOULD hit my goal weight of 135 this year. I will not quit till I see that number on the scale!! I can only imagine at this point how good that is going to feel!!
Today was the 2st day with my new team. It was a nice change of pace. I moved to my new cube and feel at home. One of the team members mentioned they were having a food day for me later in the week - feels nice to be welcomed. I heard my new manager talking about supervisor rotations, sounded like maybe under a different director. Something I wanted when they presented this change to me - so that makes me feel like I might miss out. Why do I feel this way? I have the opportunity to learn something new, develop myself, have less stress & still stay in management. So what is my problem? I need to learn to be thankful for what I have & not want for more. This extends past my work life but in my home life as well. It feels that I always want more - lose more weight, have more things, have a bigger house, want more children. I need to stop daily and realize how blessed I am to have the things I do - beautiful husband, daughter & dog, nice home with nice things, food to put on the tale and money to pay the bills!
DH called and asked me to go get some lunch with him today. It has been a long time since he has done that and I really wanted to join him. The problem is I brought my lunch and need to eat OP & am trying to save $. So, I sad no and stuck to the plan. He was very understanding! I am looking forward to seeing the scale go down for the 1st time in a long time.
Daycare called today, there was an incident - DD was not involved but there were kids who were playing the 'you show me yours and I will show you mine' game. So they had a 'talk' about private parts. Just seems kids grow up too fast these days. I can't believe how bid my DD is getting. Reminds me every day how short life is and I need to spend as much time as I can with my loved ones!
Today I made better food choices and plan to continue tomorrow.
68 years! That is how long my grandparents have been married - wow!! I hope to make it that long. My gramps also celebrated is 91st birthday this week - it is amazing that he is that old and is in such good shape - again I hope we are that blessed!
We started the day off at Church - the message was awesome - reminds me to take the time I have not to develop a relationship with DD. Now is the time to lay the foundation that we will build our relationship on. This too is something that I need to remember and work on each and every day!!
I started my 1st day on Clomid. I took it about an hour ago - my eyes & mouth are already dry. My stomach is a little upset so, I asked DH to put DD to bed. Then I followed up with him to understand what time he was going to put her to bed. Why do I treat him like a little kid? Why can't I ask him to put her to bed and let him handle it the way he thinks is best? This too is something I need to work on - how I treat DH - I know I treat him like he is one of my children.
Food - I did good the first part of the day and only at when hungry. Then we had dinner at my parents and it was all down hill.
I forgot to write yesterday. It was a bad day... and will leave it at that. I look forward to my new start with my new team & pray they will get me a chance. I need to sit back, get to know the team, their functions & work on listening. I also need to work on developing ME. This is an opportunity to spend time working on my development. Then I can look for new opportunities. I say it is not about the $ but it is! The more $ I bring to this family the more secure we are. I need to learn to be happy with what I have & stop wanting more!
I haven't done so well with the weight loss. I did go to the store today & have what I need to make the good soup. The word part is, I can tell that I am not hungry & just eat for comfort - that is a horrible feeling. Tomorrow is a new day, chance to make new choices.
Today DD had her first dance class. As we were pulling into the parking lot, I got a little emotional. That caught me off guard! I just can't believe how fast she is grown up! She did better in class then I though she would.
Tonight I was working & DH was watching football - DD wanted some marshmallow's - I said "ask your dad" she said "NO, dad will just say NO"
Tomorrow is a new day, I hope to make better eating decisions and spend more time with DD!
"How Did I Get Here" Last December I decided my weight had gotten out of control. I saw myself in a picture & didn't recognize myself. Right then I decided I needed to do something about it. My mother-in-law bought me P.J's that were XL. So, not only had I gained weight but everyone else noticed. To my horror - the pants were none too big!! I made the decision to give WW Core a chance. I buckled down - stuck to the plan, started running & lost 20lbs. Then I got sick with Pneumonia & everything has been down hill. I know this & yet I still can't reign myself in... why??? I worked SO hard to get where I am - so why would I not fight for what I worked so hard for? I have decided to start a journal to work through this, making a baby & my relationship with my DH & DD. I hope to reflect on the decisions I make every day. This will help me evaluate if my actions are in line with my values & where I want to be.
Today I took DD for her P.T I know that we have not worked with DD as hard as we should. I need to refocus & make this a priority for DD.
D brought over shoes for DD to start her dance class. I can't believe how old/big she is getting!!
I started my period yesterday. I was very sad as I really felt this was the month. We started the fertility monitor last month and will continue that. I start my first round of Clomid on Sunday - I don't want to get my hopes up so I am trying not to have any expectations.