Shhh, are you listening?

One of the hardest things for me to do while growing up was to stop talking. It wasn't until I was an adult that I understood that while talking, I was not listening. I am sure I have missed a lot growing up not 'listening' and now my daughter is walking in my footsteps. It is hard as a parent to watch your children make the same mistakes you made.

This weekend at Church we learned about listening to God. When I pray, I start off thanking God for the things I have and then asking Him for the things I want. Not too often do I start off with asking God what he wants to talk to me about. What is He telling me that I am too busy talking to hear? It is amazing how many of my life lessions I am trying to teach my child that apply to my relationship with God!!! This week I am going to try to slow down and listen before speaking... Maybe if I display the behavior I am asking of my child she will follow?

What color day did you have?

Well the 'cents' idea didn't work as planned. For one, mom was not quite as organized at implementing the plan as thought. Last week, we had more red days then anything else... and things started to turn around at the end of the week. The director decided that DD could be her 'helper' if she gets green days. That seemed to help. After two green days in a row we get dinner with one of DD's favorite people and after three in a row... lunch with momma at school. She was excited. She has great intentions and heads into the day saying she is going to get a 'green' day. Somewhere along the day she gets sidetracked and things go down hill. I hope that all the incentives we have been throwing her way really help!!

I can't help but see the comparison between her and how my day goes with God in it. I start out the day talking with Him and thinking it is going to be a great day. Then, somewhere along the day, I lose focus and end that conversation. I need to keep my concentration on just like DD and end the day as strong as I start it. I know God continually gives me 'incentivies' to keep the lines of communication open, He is just waiting for me to come around!!

Cents

So, after moving our DD to a new school, there is a lot more information exchanged between us and her teachers. Every day we get a note that goes over the lessons for the week as well as the type of day she had (Red, Yellow, Green). The first week we had lots of Red and Yellow days. After she started to adjust we were seeing more Green days until this week. We have yet to have a Green day!! DD does not like to take naps and would rather play. We have sent crayons & coloring books for her to do during nap time. We explained to her that she doesn't have to take a nap but needs to be quiet. Well, she is just like her mom and likes to talk, so this is getting her in trouble! After reading a friends blog yesterday she gave me the idea of money for incentive. Starting next week we are going to give her a quarter for ever Green day she has. If she has a Red day she will have to pay us a quarter and if she has a Yellow day we are all even. She really likes to get money so I think this will work. I am excited to try this out and see if we can turn her behavior around!

5:30 AM Workouts!

So I have started working out in the morning with my new work out buddy! I LOVE IT!! It gets my day started off to on the right foot. I have so much energy for the rest of the day. It also feels fantastic when I set foot into work at 7:15 in the morning knowing all that I have accomplished! Of course when my alarm goes off at 4:45 in the morning my first thought is, really? Do I have to go? Then I remember my friend will be waiting for me and I get up. So far we have been doing 40 minutes of cardio (20 on one machine and 20 on another). This week we are going to shake it up a bit and try some classes. We were also watching some ladies this morning doing different things on the treadmill to change it up. I am excited at all the change that will come!!

Moving forward

Well it has been almost two weeks since I have posted. Those seem to have gone by fast!! We started DD at a new preschool. We had been thinking about this for a long time and felt in our hearts it was the right move. She LOVES her new school and is doing very well. We feel much more comfortable with her there and feel she is learning more. She does have a hard time taking her nap and wants to talk instead (she is JUST like her mommy :))so we will have to work on that.

DH has been talking about a fitness club he went to several weeks ago. His brother belongs, some of his friends as well as a good friend of mine. So, we checked out the club closer to us for a compare. They are night and day and ended up going with the club he wanted. I am so excited to get back into working out. I have gained weight on this journey and part of that was the meds. I also have to be honest... part of it was my eating habits! While the urge to work out was still there when I would try it would just hurt. So, I am glad to be feeling better and able to get into the swing of things. I have met my friend twice so far and LOVE it. The time goes by much faster when you have someone to talk to. It is also nice to get in some 'girl' time! Tomorrow we are starting our morning work outs at 5:30!! YIKES - that is early but will feel so good to know by the time I get to work all that I will have accomplished. I also know when I work out in the morning, I get more done during the day!

We went to see our counselor this weekend. I feel as though I have moved past this phase and right into the next one. At first I thought it was because I wasn't dealing with how I felt. After meeting with her, I believe that I have been grieving through each step of this process. While there is a little part of me that will always hurt for that baby we were not able to create, I am moving on with my life. It truly feels good to shut the door and move on (of course we are always open to God's will what ever that may be). I have grown through this process in my marriage, relationship with others and most importantly with God. When this journey started I just wanted to know how it was going to end. If you would have told me 25+ months ago that we would be here with out a little baby - I would have been devastated. Through each step, we worked through our hurdles and moved forward. This has made DH and I lean on each other in a way we never have before, and it felt good. To know that we were by each other's side through this whole process is very comforting. I have met some wonderful people along our journey who have shared their stories and helped me be open to God's will. For that I will forever be grateful!! Thank you for all your thoughts and prayers during this difficult time, I have comfort knowing how much our loved ones cared!