Moving forward

I just made my next appointment with my RE to start another round. As I got off the phone the weight of the situation hit me... there is a VERY real possibility that we might not ever have another baby. That is very hard for me to accept. I finally broke down and cried on DH last night. I know that I need to let him in but my fear is that when I face how I feel, I can't stop crying and there are days it is hard to function. It is easier for me to go on like nothing is bothering me then to face reality. After getting my negative test on Monday, I cried for a moment and then decided not to let this impact the time I have with the Daughter we are so very blessed to have.

We have decided to be more aggressive this time and so my drugs will be even stronger. While that scares me and I know it will take its toll on me, I need to know I gave it my all.

This has impacted ever single aspect of my life in a bigger way then I even want to admit. Most of all I do think it has made my relationship with God stronger. I wake up every morning and ask for His help and guidance to get me through the day... something I was not very good at. Knowing this is bigger then me, it is comforting to know I can lay this at his feet and He will take care of everything.