You Are What You Eat

My mom used to tell me this when I was young and would have a break out on my face. I was always under the impression that chocolate and greasy food would make my face have pimples.

In December I decided to take a new path to become helthy. I started nutrisystem and exercise. I felt great! I had lots of energy, could sleep as soon as my head hit the pillow and for the most part in a better mood all around. Well Last month I decided it was my last NS month. I didn't renew my food order and thought I would be fine. I started eating 'normal' food again and have noticed a drastic change in me! My body doesn't feel so great again, I don't have as much energy and I sanp at the mention of a problem!! I also notice that when I don't drink enough water, my headaches come back - and that is no fun for not only me but those around me. So, after talking with DH yesterday - I am back on track. I might not be eating all NS food but I know what I should/should not eat and I KNOW I need to get back to my exercise!!

As I was pondering this on the way to work this morning I realized that this applies to my spiritual world as well. "EVERYONE WHO DRINKS THIS WATER WILL BE THIRSTY AGAIN, BUT WHOEVER DRINKS THE WATER THAT I GIVE HIM WILL NEVER THIRST."
( JOHN 4:13*NIV ) When I am not in the word, everything in my life is impacted. I am great at having a conversation with God - but what food am I giving my soul? I need to read my Bible more often and replenish my soul with my Father's words and guidance. When I am not doing this, my attitude is all wrong!! When I am in the Word, my relationship with others are so much better - and I make the choices to be more like Christ, which in turn end up being the 'right' choice.

So, I am going to devote 5 minutes a day to read some scripture and feed my soul.

Sarah's Laughter

I am a subscriber to Sarah's Laughter - it is Christian Support for Infertility. They send me daily inspiration. Today I really had to think about the message...

"Infertility is a struggle unlike no other. It affects every aspect of your life--your finances, your sex life, your marriage, your relationship with friends and family, your relationship with Jesus. There is no part of your life it does not touch. People around you watch to see how you handle a crisis. Some watch so they will know how to help. Some watch so they will know how to criticize. My question is this: Will they see Jesus in you?"

I have never thought about infertility this way. I have always felt like I am dealing with it in my own little bubble. However, it has impacted all of these relationships. Over the past few months DH and I decided to take a break from trying and through that I think I have come to see Jesus and hope that others see Him through me. There are many things that have happened that were not 'my' plan or on 'my' timetable. Looking back there is no way I would have known that the timetable of God was unmistakeably the right one.

Through infertility I have become acutely aware that I am not in control, God is. He has a plan that is bigger then me. I often hear everything happens for a reason - and while I believe that to be true - I also believe that everything happens according to God's plan, not 'my' plan. I am learning each and every day to embrace His plan and relinquish some of the control I think I have.

If you have a friend or loved one dealing with infertility please share this. It helps to have a daily reminder that others experience the same emotions and God is the one in control.

Temptation!!

So, I haven't been eating the way I know I should for about a week now. I can feel a difference in how I 'think' I look. Ever day I start out as "today I will make good choices" and then temptation hits. In the past to overcome these temptations - I was very well prepared. Lately I have not been. Some of that falls on me not waiting to be prepared and some of it is the element of surprise. While I can't control the surprise goodies in the office - I can control how I respond to them. So, today I am walking down the hall and there is my boss with a BIG sheet of wonderfully looking cup-cakes. With out even thinking I reached in a grabbed one. On my way back to my desk I had the internal conversation - it is just one - but that is one more then I should have. As I sat down I made the decision I would take it home to DD. It is going to sit on my desk all day and I am going to make it because that is the choice I am making. It will be a reminder of the positive choices I need to make not each and every day but all day!! I will change the way I have been the last week and get back on track. I have come too far and felt too good to turn back now. I need to remember all the positive changes I saw in myself & in my family.

Infertility - not much fun!

So DH and I have been trying for baby #2 for about two years. We had no trouble with DD - so we thought it wouldn't take long for baby #2 but apparently that is not what God had planned! We have had DH tested a few times and he is normal. I went on Clomid in the fall for two months and the emotional roller coaster it took me on was more then I was prepared for at the time. So, we decided to take a break. I told DH that the waiting every 2 weeks was just getting to be too much. He, being the wonderful husband he is, said OK, what ever you need. So, I took the time off to focus on my weight. That was a nice distraction. Now, I am ready to start trying again. I went on Friday for an HSG test to make sure that my uterus and tubes were clear. I haven't been in to see my OB yet but the doctor performing told me that everything looked good. I was able to see the whole thing on the screen in front of me. It is amazing to me how the reproductive organs work!! So, when I came home, I told DH about the procedure and he said, "You know what this means, right? That it is truly up to God at this point. You are fine, I am fine and now we just need to wait on the Lord." I know that he is right and I believe that God does have a plan for me. I am willing to accept that God has a plan for me but that doesn't stop the want for that second child!

10lb Challenge

The goal is to lose 10 lbs by April 1st! That is a stretch - but I think I can do it. It is going to take commitment and dedication... two things I have lost some of. My goal has been to get closer to where I want to be by Spring so I am more comfortable in the summertime. I am going to have to dedicate myself to getting up and getting in that 1 hour work out more times during the week. I will also have to get out during the weekend and make sure that I am getting in my 10k steps. So, her we go - I need to buckle in because in 1 month I am going to feel much better!!