God, you amaze me!

With in the paperwork that is being filled out for the RE, I have to be checked for the Rubella antibody. My DH was at the doctors office yesterday and made the appointment for me today. When I got there they were a little panicked thinking I thought I had Rubella. They were all ready to move me to a separate room. Oh how relieved they were when they understood they were just testing to see if I had the antibody.

Our regular physic an is out of the country and so I had to see a different doctor in their practice. This was a blessing is disguise!! The doctor came in to talk to me and asked some questions. At first I was a little annoyed because I feel as though I always have to justify why we are now going the route of an RE. I noticed, however, that the look she was giving me was not one of judgement but one of compassion and concern. She asked which RE I was going to and then informed me that she herself was not able to get pregnant on her own and went to the SAME doctor. WOW!! It was overwhelming because I have been looking for someone who could shed light on RE's in our area as I don't know anyone with personal experience. She also informed me that the doctor does not use Clomid but a similar drug that has a less chance of multiples and not so harsh on my mental/emotional state. She was very optimistic that we would have another child and would be happy with the RE we were going to see.

As I left the office I truly felt God's presence. We were out our counselors last nightand she asked me if I had hope.... hope that I would one day become pregnant. It was hard for me to answer because hope leads me to disappointment. So she asked, "then why try if there is no hope?". I know that one day I will have another child, where the struggle lays is when...and only God knows the perfect timing. The doctor today gave me back that hope. She validated the frustration and didn't try to fix or pretend to know the solution to my problems!! She merely listed and shared her personal story and for that I thank God because it was exactly what I needed!!!