Our chicks are turning into birds...

Nature is amazing!! In just one week our little birds have gone from barley resembling birds to getting ready to leave the nest. From the reading I have done, they have about 7-10 more days and they will be ready to fly. I have noticed the momma bird has been gone more as she is having to feed the birds more and more. We have had lots of rain these past few days and I have been watching her pull the worms out of the ground.

We have chicks!!

This morning DD was having a rough start and everything was going wrong. Then she innocently and quietly asked me if she could look out into the bird's nest to "see if the chicks hattcheded". Well, to my shock they have!! There were little chicks in there. They don't have any feathers in there and barely resemble a bird but they are there. I did some reading on the Robins today. Apparently they will dive bomb any threats to their offspring. I think the only thing saving me from being 'dive bombed' is the fact that we have a covered deck. It would be very hard for the bird to dive bomb me. The bird has become more daring and harder to get her to move out of her nest. I was able to get a picture of the momma bird in her nest and some cool pictures of her children. They will be in the nest for about 12 days before they are ready to move on. I am excited to see these chicks transform. The experience this morning changed the course of the day for DD as she was in a fantastic mood calling her dad and Grammy to tell them all about the 'chicks'! Life is beautiful!!

Pizza Bake

I tried a new recipe and I thought I would share. It was good, fast & DD loved it!!

2 cups uncooked egg noodles (I think I used a little more then 2 cups)
1/2 pound lean ground beef
1 onion, chopped
2 cloves garlic, minced
1 green bell pepper, chopped
1 cup sliced pepperoni sausage
16 ounces pizza sauce
4 tablespoons milk
1 cup shredded mozzarella cheese

DIRECTIONS
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F (175 degrees C).
Cook noodles according to package directions.
In a medium skillet over medium-high heat, brown the ground beef with the onion, garlic and green bell pepper. Drain excess fat. Stir in the noodles, pepperoni, pizza sauce and milk, and mix well. Pour this mixture into a 2-quart casserole dish.
Bake at 350 degrees F (175 degrees C) for 20 minutes, top with the cheese, then bake for 5 to 10 more minutes.

Chances

As I was driving to work today I was thinking about the last few days with my DD. She is in that stage where she thinks she is so old and can do anything and everything she wants. This often leads to her getting in trouble and a big blow out. When these blow outs happen I overreact and then she reacts to me... and it just keeps going on. Then when I have had some time to reflect I know how I should handle the situation and ... we do it all over again the next day. As I was feeling a little down and wondering how I can be a better mother and wife, I was listening to Klove. Just as I was feeling this, they read their Encouraging Word - "Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day" Lamentations 3:23 NLT This reminds me that today is a new day with new choices. I can be the mom/wife I know and want to be. It all starts with one choice. This was followed up by the song One Life to Love by 33 Miles. I will post the lyrics below... but what a powerful thought!! I don't want to miss those brief opportunities to spend just 5 more minutes tucking my DD in bed at night or a night time cuddle with my DH... because you never know when you will be called to go home and I don't want any regrets!!

He never thought he cared so much about the minute hand
Until he started praying for, a second chance
If he could only do it all again
He'd trade the long nights that he spent behind his desk
For all he missed

He tells his wife, "I wish that this moment in this room was not me dying, but just spending a little time with you."

You only get just one time around
You only get one shot at this
One chance, to find out
The one thing that you don't wanna miss
One day when it's all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough, this
One ride, one try, one life...
To love....

She never thought she cared so much about those little hands
That held on tight the day she left
Til she was scared to death
Sitting all alone on a hotel bed, the end of the road
The sun had set on her big plans
To feel young again

She picks up the phone, dials the number, hears that little voice
That's haunted every single mile, since she made that choice

You only get just one time around
You only get one shot at this
One chance, to find out
The one thing that you don't wanna miss
One day when it's all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough, this
One ride, one try, one life...
To love............

You only get just one time around
Only get one shot at this
One chance, to find out
The one thing that you don't wanna miss
One day when it's all said and done
I hope you see that it was enough, this
One ride, one try, one life........
One ride, one try, one life........
To love....
To love....
One ride, one try, one life..............

Our first RE appointment

We have set up our first appointment for May 4th. The first consultation is 3 hours long and will involve several tests. The test results will be back with in the consultation so we will know where we are headed from there. I am excited to get this train moving so we can move forward with our lives. On the doctor's website is written:
"Experiencing infertility is considered to be a major life crisis, and many times it is the first one that married couples face together. Research has demonstrated that women with infertility have the same levels of anxiety and depression as do women with cancer, heart disease, and HIV+ status."
Well, because DH and I have one child I don't think this is the first major life crisis we have come to and I know we will make the other side of this - regardless of the outcome. I have been blessed to have a husband who asks how I am feeling and actually wants to hear the unedited answer. I know there are times that am overwhelmed with 'infertility' and have a hard time identifying myself as such. I also know that there are several of you out there who love and support us and for that we are truly thankful!! Your kind words and knowing you are there help me make it through my day...

In our back yard

God, you amaze me!

With in the paperwork that is being filled out for the RE, I have to be checked for the Rubella antibody. My DH was at the doctors office yesterday and made the appointment for me today. When I got there they were a little panicked thinking I thought I had Rubella. They were all ready to move me to a separate room. Oh how relieved they were when they understood they were just testing to see if I had the antibody.

Our regular physic an is out of the country and so I had to see a different doctor in their practice. This was a blessing is disguise!! The doctor came in to talk to me and asked some questions. At first I was a little annoyed because I feel as though I always have to justify why we are now going the route of an RE. I noticed, however, that the look she was giving me was not one of judgement but one of compassion and concern. She asked which RE I was going to and then informed me that she herself was not able to get pregnant on her own and went to the SAME doctor. WOW!! It was overwhelming because I have been looking for someone who could shed light on RE's in our area as I don't know anyone with personal experience. She also informed me that the doctor does not use Clomid but a similar drug that has a less chance of multiples and not so harsh on my mental/emotional state. She was very optimistic that we would have another child and would be happy with the RE we were going to see.

As I left the office I truly felt God's presence. We were out our counselors last nightand she asked me if I had hope.... hope that I would one day become pregnant. It was hard for me to answer because hope leads me to disappointment. So she asked, "then why try if there is no hope?". I know that one day I will have another child, where the struggle lays is when...and only God knows the perfect timing. The doctor today gave me back that hope. She validated the frustration and didn't try to fix or pretend to know the solution to my problems!! She merely listed and shared her personal story and for that I thank God because it was exactly what I needed!!!

Next Steps

Well DH and I are moving forward with our next steps in our struggle with fertility. This last cycle was emotionally draining on me and I was finding it hard on days just to make it out of bed. We sat down and for the first time I felt DH just listened... he didn't try to fix, or help, just listened. We then decided to call my OBGYN and let her know we were ready for a referral to a Reproductive Endocrinologist (RE). After talking with the lady at the new doctors office, she directed me to download some paper work and complete it. This includes sending information to our current doctors to have them send on our medical records. Once the RE receives all information needed and reviews our medical history they will set up an apt. with us. Just the paperwork alone is a little overwhelming. It is so easy to get lost in this process that I am not sure how I am going to make it through some of this. I know that I have an amazing husband that will hold my hand through this if I just let him.

Every night when I go to bed I am asking God to soften my heart that I may be open to his will even if that is never having another child. I ask for his strength to help guide me through some of the tough decisions we are going to face...

Music - my gateway

HOPE NOW

by Addison Road
If everything comes down to love
Then just what am I afraid of
When I call out Your name
Something inside awakes in my soul
How quickly I forget I'm Yours

I'm not my own
I've been carried by You
All my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

When my life is like a storm
Rising waters all I want is the shore
You say I'll be ok and
Make it through the rain
You are my shelter from the storm

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

I am not my own
I've been carried by you all my life

Everything rides on hope now
Everything rides on faith somehow
When the world has broken me down
Your love sets me free

You've become my hearts desire
I will sing Your praises higher
Cause Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free
Your love sets me free