The results are in...

The test is negative. I know that the reality of the results has not registered in my heart yet. I am out of town through Friday and am ready to be home with my family so I can be with all the blessings I do have. Please pray for me, that I lean on God during this time and am open to His will.

God, it is in Your hands

We moved forward with this cycle using the stronger drugs and the injections. The idea was that the stronger drug would produce more eggs that were bigger. As of last Friday we had the same number that were smaller. At that moment, I have never been more aware that God truly was in control! The doctor recommended we do more medication over the weekend and come back in on Monday. Monday the eggs had grown enough to be effective and we did our IUI on Wednesday. So, we are not down and out. I do think the experience last Friday prepared my husband and I to be more open to God's will. I have a hard time not being in control and God has sure taught me a lesson about control.

Both my husband and I are ready for this to end. I have not felt well this month with the stronger drugs, while it is worth is, I am ready to move on. I have had sever headaches, am VERY bloated now, tired etc. I will be traveling for work the week we test to see if we are pregnant. I am kinda down about that. I really wanted to spend the end of this journey with my husband but ... that is not going to happen. When we were first married I did a lot of traveling and actually found out I was pregnant with DD while I was out of town...

3rd time is a charm, right?

OK so we are going to try this for our 3rd and final time. We are going to change the plan up a bit this time in hopes for the best chances we can get. We are going to do the same drugs we have been using plus injections. There will be a lot more monitoring going on to make sure the drug does not overstimulate me. I will also gain weight and be VERY bloated - but I can stand that for this one time! I am sad this will be our last cycle and at the same time I am also ready to put this chapter behind us. While I understand that might be moving on with only one child, I know we are abundantly blessed with that beautiful life we brought into this world. Through this experience I have learned to hold my loved ones a little closer and understand the gift of EVERY life. It is a beautiful thing and something I don't ever want take for granted.

For those of my friends who are expecting (there seems to be a lot of you right now) - I am truly happy for you!! This is my journey and while I might not ever understand it, I would never be upset for my friends beautiful blessings. Please know that if at any time it is hard for me to handle, I will be forward and let you know... I only ask one thing of you. Enjoy each and every moment of your pregnancy and the life God has blessed you with!

*sigh* another negative

Well, today was test day. We went out of town this weekend so I actually forgot about it until I woke up this morning. I had a feeling it was going to be negative, and I was right. I guess because I thought it was and was expecting it I was not a let down as I thought. We will give the IUI one more try and then we are done. We will be a family of 3. I have no clue how this is going to end up but I know that I have got to make sure to let this go and leave God to do His work.

Ahhh Exercise!!

It has been a while since I have gotten out and done much. This medicine makes my system very sensitive and then makes me very tired. The weather was so nice out that I couldn't pass up the opportunity to walk with a friend last night. We went for a 2.25 mile walk with quite a few hills. I am feeling it today in my back side and abs. What a great feeling. It feels awesome to get in some girl time while doing something positive for myself at the same time.

I started using google pedometer a while back to make out routes to take. If you have never seen it before, check it out. As long as you are staying on the road, you can map out your route and it will calculate the distance for you.

Happy for the Weekend!!

I have been in meetings at work from 8-5... that makes for a long week!! I am excited for the beautiful weather we are expected to get, a relief from the heat. My DD is going to stay with MIL Saturday night while we go on a date!! Sunday we are going to a movie and dinner with our Church group. It will be a nice weekend which is exactly what I need!

Update

Well, everything went as expected Monday morning for the IUI. I resumed my normal day at work. Last month I had horrible cramping and this month that seems to have subsided. I had some cramping but nothing compared to last time. My muscles have been sore though. I almost feel as thought I am getting sick but I don't think I am. I am thankful that I feel more normal this time. When I don't feel well it is a constant reminder of what I am going through. I am ready to get past this point in my life but I know that can't happen until we go through all the steps.